His eyes are so telling...revealing the truth in his lies that present themselves so wonderfully phrased. Little cotton candy clouds dancing on the page that is assumed to be your life in all its shimmering ugliness...it's the one thing you can't take your eyes off of--you want to believe him, to pretend that yes it is all ok, but there is that whispering voice that slowly gets louder with every breath. He embraces your small vulnerable body and you swear once again you've never felt this before, you swear to yourself that you will never feel this again, so this must be it. This must be the very thing that holds the foundation of the social world together. The very reason that people procreate and keep the species alive...You forget the lies that pierced through your heart with a mindblowing thrust that made you cry for hours on end, that made you mistrust everyone in the entire universe. You forget how much your friends stood by you and promised to you that you could and deserved better. For the moment disbelief is so much more comforting than the truth, so you take a page out of his book and lie to yourself. This betrayal is paramount because you are not only believing a liar, you are becoming one also.
Every step is a journey into the path that you might believe is really there, if only you knew why you kept walking...so dreary and unhappy it seems, but for the moment you are loved, are something more than yourself, so you give in. Hoping with every ounce of thought that this just might work out, even though your head, your heart, your mind, your soul knows that this is wrong you keep walking, believing the lies. Following him wherever he will take you because he would never hurt you. How could he? He loves you and wants to be there for you, for the rest of your life. He is the one...the only one who could make your heart flutter and head spin with the craziness that we call love. You just keep walking sometimes running, flinging yourself to him because what else can you do? What more could there be for you, than the love you have always looked for? What else...nothing.
So you step away from your morals, your beliefs, your reasons for living, to accommodate those of his. You look away from your future and move into the mindset of our future which inherently means his future, and you paste on that everything is OK smile and present yourself as Mrs. such and such and how happy you are to be the wife of such a great man, who makes you feel like...shit. Like you are not even worthy of the truth because you are too much of an idiot to know the difference, and you know what...you are. You allow this man to say whatever he wants, and he will because he knows he can. You allow him to be the master over what your feelings are because he knows that you will never leave him, and how can you? You're in love...so in love you cannot believe that lies exist in very much the same way as your heartbeat does.
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