It's hard to see him like this. All unhappy smiley emoticons that portray to me a sense of "surrealness" about the situation that seems far more real than anything has before. Yet this is his way of coping, of believing that as a man he has to be strong and believe that everything will be ok because he CAN and WILL make it. I suppose that it is less bad than it seems but I wish he'd realize that it is ok. That he can cry and scream and threaten the very foundations of his beliefs because it isn't fair. This should not happen but it is happening and fuck anything that even insinuates that this is just life and it's all part of a bigger more meaningful plan.
Ruth, Robby's mother was a wonderful being. It is true that she carried a stick that even Roosevelt would have admired but she still had a huge heart. I remember being yelled at for talking during choir, and remember some of the less respectful students in class getting their fair share of scoldings for being the most immature and disgusting people I have ever met, but that is another topic. She was a gentle kindred spirit and I think everyone loved her for that. It'll be hard to let her go, and to remember that she is no longer here anymore. It'll be even harder to look him in the eye and pretend that everything is just fine, when we both know that it isn't.
Losing is so tough, but there really isn't anything we can do about it. It's that monotonous cycle that pisses the shit out of you because it's inevitable but so undesirable: life, yet living wouldn't not be so wonderful if it wasn't topped off with dying.
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